reciprocity.

deception lies in your reciprocity
its sweaty mist leaves behind
delusion.
dream: my sister is badgering me about a shoe that I like. the shoe is nice and fits well. She doesn't like it but I do. I tell her off because its my style. My mother condones it and says its all right, the shoe is all right. Then leaves to pacify my sister who leaves feverish and angry, storming off because I had been so impolite in telling her how I felt. It was like I was myself but also my mother, knowing what I feel but also feeling guilt because I couldn't please my sister. The truth is I will never be able to please everyone.  I look at my shoe again later after feeling guilt for telling her how i feel. the heel of the shoe is now half way on. One shoe has a heel the other does not. I'm not standing tall anymore. I have to limp to walk, the shoe I once adored no longer looks good anymore.

So what was the lesson: live up to my own expectations! I liked the shoe because I thought it looked good and because others try to push their ways and opinions doesn't mean you have to accept what they say. reciprocity. Sometimes you have to be impolite to say how the fuck you feel. otherwise they may not hear you. Don't feel guilt or shame for telling the truth and owning up to how you feel. self-expression is so important so never deny what you feel. BAM!